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Carinès - Goodbyes

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MessageSujet: Carinès - Goodbyes Dim 13 Aoû 2017 - 15:13


January 3rd, 1982
My dearest Phanes
If you receive this letter, it means that I am dead.

No, just kidding! Well, I do hope a bit that you believed that and were sad for a few moments, before feeling relieved of having at last got rid of me. But guess what? You actually are rid of me.

Father and Mother have decided to send me to France for a few months at least, in order to improve my health and to, maybe, find a husband. I think I have managed to conceal my poor health of the last few months to you; I have often felt tired and no matter what I could eat, drink or do, it just did not help. As for the matter of the husband, they think no English bachelor suits me, and will not listen to me when I ask them to wait just a little bit longer - I am only eighteen, nearly nineteen, for Merlin's sake! It is like they are deaf.

You maybe are wondering why I am telling you all of this; well, it is simple, really. YOU HAVE TO TAKE CARE OF HESTIA FOR ME. Please, do that for me. I will not be able to watch after her when I will be across the Channel Sea, and you are the only one I trust to see after my best friend's wellbeing. Please, do that for me or I will not be able to focus on my recovery.

I really am sorry that I could not help with your smoking problem, even though I had sweared to myself that I would be useful, for one time.

I will miss you, Phan.

I already miss you.

I love you.

Carina R.


[La phrase barrée est presque illisible.]
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MessageSujet: Re: Carinès - Goodbyes Dim 13 Aoû 2017 - 17:32

Sweet Carina,

I can't feel any kind of relief – I just came back from the room you used to occupy and I found it empty. I might have thought this letter was a silly joke of yours for a few moments, hoping you would burst out of a closet with a smile on your face. Getting rid of you as, as you say, does not bring me happiness. I have known you since forever, read you bedtime stories during years, played with you and Hestia during hours, and finally we began to be friends. My only friend, if I can say so – it sounds pitiful, I know.

Your health comes first, I understand – I hope you will feel better in France. I have only heard good things about this country - mostly about literature and food... As for the husband your parents can't be that much wrong. No one matching your name or what you can offer is out there in England. I hope you will find whatever you want and need in France.

I will take care of Hestia as much as I can. Jonas will too – he loves her dearly I can assure you. Maybe I do too.

Now that you're gone – not forever I can't help hoping, I have no one to talk to. The fragile Hestia is not an option, as we both know what we have been trying to hide from her. I miss you dearly, Carina. I miss our talks, you joining me at night, just being around each other. I hate thinking that those moments are just memories.

I wish those goodbyes were face to face,

P.P.
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MessageSujet: Re: Carinès - Goodbyes Dim 13 Aoû 2017 - 18:37


January 5th, 1982
My dearest Phanes
I am truly sorry for leaving without saying goodbye face-to-face, believe me, but I could not trust myself on the moment; I might have done something really stupid if I had come to see you before leaving, and that would have ruined our friendship. I do cherish the time that we spent together, you know, more than you could realise, I think. (Do not ask me what I could have done, I will not answer you.)

I am glad and flattered that you think of me as your only friend but I beg to differ: there are some others that are your friends, too, even if you do not see that right now. You will, with time. My absence will help, too. And even if Hestia was is my best friend, you hold a special place in my heart.

I cannot say that I disagree for the health part but the husband one is absolute rubbish! There still are English bachelors that are suitable for me, it is just a shame that nobody sees what I see, and it is useless for me to argue, since noone listens to me.

I am absolutely positive that you love her, no matter what you can say or do. She is your sister, the flesh of your flesh.

I will come back, even if I find some insipid French boy to wed; England will not be as easily as that rid of me, I can assure you. As for our talking, we will find a way, I promise. I will go mad if I cannot talk to you the way we did.

I will cherish these memories and hold onto them to go through all I will have to go through while I will be away; I just hope that you will not replace me too fast, because I will certainly not.

Will you come if I ask you to?

I wish I had not have to leave.

Carina R.
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MessageSujet: Re: Carinès - Goodbyes Lun 14 Aoû 2017 - 0:07

Sweet Carina,

There's nothing you could have done to disminish our friendship – and I am glad you consider me as a friend. But I hope you had time to say a proper goodbye to Hestia. She loves you deeply. I still have not talk to her about how she feels about that, and maybe I won't : both of us will be in a very odd situation, as I have never asked a single time about her feelings. Well, I will try to say at least something soothing.

My dear, I think I have three friends in total. Maybe four, if Corban Y. was more likely to understand me – which he is not. One of them only knows the writer, and the other one... He knows everything about me, the way you do – except he judges me. Hates me a lot for what I am. Which you never do, besides the darkness of some of my actions.  You saw me, the scars, the bad – and you understand me. I miss you dearly, sincerly.

If you do wed, I hope the man will be kind enough, bright enough to keep you interrested. Happiness can be found in marriage I suppose, if you are lucky enough. I can not help much about the matter, as I have never wed and probably never will.

Replace you ? I can't I think. You have always been a part of my life, occupied different roles.I won't forget you.

If I find the time, I will come by. But if I can not, please do not blame me, as you know my schedule does not depend on my wishes... War is near.


P.P.
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